QUOTEd

NY TIMES LETTERS: Does the E-Book Have a Promising Future

"...still, I myself take pleasure in stroking the page of a book ..."

Sam Goodyear
Oneonta, N.Y., Dec. 24, 2008

Dreaming

In this post, instead of my usual "dream five" - i attempt to transcribe the total experience of my dream last night. Please comment: is it clear? is it too confusing in the unabridged version? I never know what the right balance is for a blog post. I also have chosen not to change anyone's name. It's a dream - so everyone is innocent.


CHOOSING EDUCATION, CHOOSING COMMUNITY
a dream transcription

Inside a subway train?

Mandy, an Associate Artistic Director: You don't want to make plays with undergrads. It was great, but they aren't professionals. You want to achieve so much more.

I need to get out of the subway train. I need to run from underground. I need to emerge into the light and the fresh air.

***location shift***

A meeting: Bill T. Jones, Jim Lewis, some Producers/Donors, AJ, is this for FELA or a new project? I'm feeling stifled. I feel like crying. I need to work in education. I run outside.

Cast member: (with glee) Tears!

I know they (some cast members) are talking about me. I run around the corner and finish crying. When I'm done, I go back to the meeting which is in an underground restaurant - at a round table covered with a very fine white cotton tablecloth.

Bill: (implying I'm late) Nice of you to join us.

Me: I was stuffy and needed to blow my nose. (why couldn't I have asked someone here for a napkin)

Jim: (Hands me a bowl of soup.)

***location shift***

Super Mario Galaxy: I open a "new world," but in order to play it I have to loose all 22 lives I already have. I decide to go into a "previous world," but I'm ceaselessly chased in that "previous world." The characters chase me into the real world. Why didn't I decide to just open the "new world?" The "new world" was vivid yellows and purples and greens and reds - very very vivid - why didn't I choose it instead?). Who cares if I would have lost all my lives except for one, I wouldn't have been pursued by the characters in the world I decided to open up.

***location shift***

A sculpture/dance hall: presenting work.

***location shift***

A stage: in an auditorium. The auditorium was in a building, on a small lane (like European towns) cobblestone, skinny buildings crammed together. But I knew it to be Greenpoint, the neighborhood I live in - in real life. I was directing a community production of a play (Streetcar Named Desire? No, a new play much like it). It starred people from my community - people I knew really well, people I wanted to succeed. But one of the actors was out (sick?), and I had to play her roll. My scene partner missed his cue, but Hilton Als - who had become a fan of the show - was in the audience and yelled out his cue. It changed the whole feeling of the last part of the show. I was struggling to read my lines, which I couldn't see and were hidden from audience view. I fell to the ground but kept it in character. I played the rest of the scene in partial view of the audience. It was terrifying.

***location shift***

After the end of the show I went next door to a new restaurant. It was opened by Liza (who just permanently closed Queen's Hideaway in Greenpoint). At the her new restaurant, they were serving hot mexican soups. The chef (a very old mexican man who knew english better than I did) and the waiter (a very young mexican immigrant) nurtured me and spoke to me and told me about their sister restaurant next door (which Liza also owned) that served only hot soups! After finishing my soup I decided to go next door.

***location shift***

The cold soup restaurant: was below ground. They had dug out a little patio - making an open air, basement level piazza, complete with a large fountain in front of the main door. Behind the main door was a little foyer with yet another door that dazzled with white and silver etching and framing. I went inside and the staff was still preparing. They were going to open the cold soup restaurant the next day - because cold soup (I surmised) took longer to marinate thank hot soup. Liza was nowhere to be found, but I walked in the kitchen anyway. I saw the beautiful radishes, partially grated for their zest, lemons grated for zest, someone chopping bunches of long stemmed onions. Brilliant colors: purple, yellow, greens, whites. It was almost as though my eyes could take close up shots of all the foods.

Niegel: (to myself) they must all be organic

Sous Chef 1: What are you doing here?

Niegel: I'm a friend of Liza's.

Sous Chef 2 (a black lady with a tattoo (of a star?) on her right cheek): You're not supposed to be here yet. We open tomorrow.

Niegel: I know, but I wanted to see what you were up to. Did you work at Liza's old restaurant?

Sous Chef 2: I don't remember. I may have. I don't remember.

Sous Chef 1: You should really leave now.

As I leave, I can sense that the head chef can see me as I'm leaving. He checks to make sure I don't steal the keys from the door.

***location shift***

Back at the theater: My scene partner from earlier is checking on the giant muffins. We are in the cafe of the theater - where they serve giant muffins. I attempt to apologize for my performance (wow it's hard being an actor). He seems to hear me but doesn't acknowledge my apology. He is proud to have just gotten to work with me. His friends have gotten him a gift. It is a peach pie - brilliant brown - and they are pouring a fresh orange juice around the outside of the pie. (they've prepared a moat of sorts between the center of the pie and the crust.) He is loved. I hug him. He thanks me.

Niegel: I hope I get to work with you again. I never even imagined that you were an actor.

Friend: I did it once in high school. Thank you for this opportunity. It was wonderful. Please think of me next time you direct a community play.

Niegel: (truly moved - almost to tears)

Niegel: (to myself) Will I think of him? Will I direct another community play?

Still at the theater: Because I acted in the show, I'm now on the email list for the actors. I don't just get new emails though: my iphone downloads all the previous emails too and in them I see my friend's questions about the show, about the profession and his praise for my leadership. After reading three messages, I notice that he is a bit embarrassed. So I promise not to read anymore. I feel a stronger connection to him than I've felt to anyone in a long time. We hug again.

I remember that I need to wake up and try to look past the edges of the dream.

I wake up.

advisory

COULDN'T SAY IT BETTER...

...a new addition to my blog.


"[the] target audience is the 10 percent of voters who told this week’s New York Times/CBS News poll that they did not feel as if they had received enough information to make an informed decision on the presidential race. I believe we have met them before. They are the men and women who get up at a town hall meeting after the candidate had just made a 20-minute opening speech about his/her plans for health care reform, and say: “What I want to know is, what are you going to do about medical costs?” My theory is that whenever they hear someone start to discuss the issues, they cover their ears and make humming noises, the way my husband does when I say it is time to take a look at our 401(k)s."

Gail Collins, The NY Times

Full article here.

On Poesy

this is
the thing
about things

DREAM five

Pronunciation: \drēm\ \fīv\

Function: noun

Usage: often attributive

1: an exercise I use to recall and record the five most memorable sensations from my night's dream -- compare rem sleep

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. There was a beautiful young man with dark hair who spoke French. We sat on a Terraced lawn overlooking the main avenue and the coast. I asked him what would be an appropriate gift for my hosts; he offered me several of the finest teas.


2. I did not recall the name of Todd's friend who lives with Danya. This seemed to upset her somewhat. It upset me most.

3. Two families with young children arrived at the house. They were just stopping by to take showers. This made me feel uncomfortable and cramped.

4. Something about a church and an election.

5. I was accused of leaking potentially destructive evidence about Barack Obama's character to The Economist.

PROSAIC

THERE IS NO THERE, THERE.
-Gertrude Stein, Everybody’s Autobiography

By describing the failed attempt to locate her childhood home in Oakland California, Gertrude Stein asks us to reconsider the intangible visions we often hold onto with fervor.

The obliqueness of the grammar allows 'THERE', the vision, to be something real or imagined in the past, present or future - removing its temporal qualities or the specificity of her search and forcing a more universal and inclusive reading.

In four words - she illuminates the space, distance, between the perceived and the hoped for and forces the question, "if THERE does not exist in its envisioned form, does it substantially frame our experience of HERE, and when we go in search of the THERE, are we denying the possibilities of HERE?"

Words to knit by.

WE LOVE
TO HATE
THE CURSE
OF LOVE
-Graffiti Artist, East Village NYC

Friendship is Blendship

Obvious Photoshop Posting for the Fall

Culture and Clarity

I don't know the history of newspapers printing non-prose articles, in any section other than the "Arts" section, but I was extremely thrilled to see a pictorial article by one of my favorite artists in the Opinions section of the New York Times today.

Kara Walker,

a visual artist working in silhouette forms using paper, transparencies, light, and film (to name a few of her mediums) has manipulated reconstruction iconography to question the ways we view race and class in America.

And, in this thrilling article AUTUMN she again surprises me and forces me to make new insights - linking the circular experience of time (through the seasons) to give insight into the repetitive gestures of language and figures and colors that we often use to manipulate the opportunities and self-image of "conquered folks."

Lately, I've had to confront my own assumptions about race. I grew up in Norwood, a small North Carolina town, where my culture (ultimately wrapped up in my race) was often mocked by white class mates. I remember in fourth grade we were studying North Carolina history and watching documentaries about our state. When we watched a video about religious practices, several white students decided that the cadence of black preachers and call & response of black parishioners was laughable. I had to endure weeks of heckling and indecent mimicry.

Having had to grow up in such an environment, I don't usually anticipate non-blacks to embrace black culture - in fact for much of my late teens and early twenties I tried to deny black culture. So, when I see non-blacks wearing Obama paraphernalia and displaying signs, I greet it with an unhealthy amount of skepticism and unease. "Are you really supporting a 'black' man - or is this some part of your personal performance of liberalism?"

For me: there is more maturing to happen, more healing to happen. I look forward to having accumulated enough positive interactions and reflections to overcome the biases of my youth.

Language Responsibly

I have been terrified lately. The thought of being vulnerable – of sharing in a public space, like this blog, has made me second guess my work. I'm excited to be venturing back into this medium.


I was reading this afternoon about fear and darkness. Why is it that when in a space where our eyes have not quite adjusted, we start to use our other senses: smelling, touch, hearing to create (fill in the blanks) of the world around us. Why is it usually that, that world around us is populated with potential pitfalls? Why not potential opportunities?

I suppose as a great poet once reminded us:

We die.
That may be
the meaning of life.

yet she goes on, in the same poem, to remind us how we shape our existence:

But we do language.
That may be
the measure of our lives.

Tonight is the first of our US presidential debates. Let's hope that both of the candidates chose their words well: words that will lead to actions which reflect the American people, words that will celebrate our civic responsibilities and words that will provide for our general welfare.

BREVITY

THE FURIES (featuring Barbara Stanwyck)

As you sow, so shall you reap. The families of America's turn-of-the-century west struggle to define their identity through their connection to the land. Wealth and community mimic feudal world views, and the most obvious adversary is best equipped to end your means. An exceptionally convincing, aware and captivating portrayal of western womanhood.

MARGOT AT THE WEDDING

The absurdity of life is that we even attempt to overcome the limits of our experience and weaknesses. Yet, it is through our desire to overcome the sum of our parts and through our commitment to love and fidelity that we celebrate the potential of the human spirit.

PAUL MCCARTHY: Central Symmetrical Rotation Movement Three Installations, Two Films

The span of time, when refracted, reveals a series of compelling "moment images." The differences between those "moment images," in time, distance and sound, can be mined for the surprising theatricality inherent in our attempt to move from point a to point c.

For Cory: Our Song

Latest edition to my blog-- shout outs to my boo, man, boyfriend, main squeeze, Cory Hloska. Thanks for quenching my sweet tooth baby.

CANDYMAN - The Mary Jane Girls

If you see Cory and I walking down the street, feel free to yell out the chorus to this song. We'll gladly join you in the refrain.

Pilfered Content

Today is my day off from rehearsal. I'm associate directing the new musical FELA!, which is co-conceived, co-written, directed and choreographed by the imitable Bill T. Jones - a hero of mine, but I'll write more on that another day.

So, I'm going to take this day off and leave you with an interview of Bill by the Wall Street Journal.


An African Giant's Last Dance
By CAROL HYMOWITZ
July 18, 2008; Page W7C

Fela Anikulapo Kuti, the Nigerian Afro-beat musician and political activist who died of AIDS-related illnesses in 1997, was hugely popular throughout Africa in his lifetime and still has a devoted following today. In the U.S., however, he isn't as well known as Bob Marley and other black global musicians. Choreographer Bill T. Jones, who runs his own modern-dance troupe and won a Tony last year for his choreography of the Broadway hit "Spring Awakening," aims to change that. He's directing -- for the first time -- and choreographing "Fela!," a musical that will include live performances of Fela's music, a fusion of jazz, funk and traditional African styles. Off-Broadway preview performances start on July 29. We talked with Mr. Jones recently about pidgin English, African dictatorships and directing.


WSJ: What do you want people who aren't familiar with Fela to experience at the show?

Bill T. Jones: First, it should be an evening of good theater. Even though he was so concerned with issues of oppression and empowerment, Fela's music on the surface is very entertaining. It's "let's get down and dance" music. When I listen to Fela, my hips begin moving; my body hears the music first.

Jump to the full interview.

Concrete Womb

Came across a Brooke Hodge's blog post about the John Lautner exhibit at LA's Hammer Museum, and it almost made me float out of my chair.

I'm always engaged by Modern architectural design that also envelops humanism. There's something beautifully serene and inspiring about clean lines, uniformity and post-war building materials used to make spaces that reflect our communal experience and possible world views.

I know, I know - a bit of an academic rant, but it comforts me. I hope you find some comfort in it as well.

Subject: Punished for being HIV-Positive?

Dear Friend,

Can you imagine not being allowed to travel to another country or apply to become a legal resident because of a medical condition?

Under current U.S. law, our government is telling countless individuals living with HIV that they are banned from the United States. The discriminatory HIV Travel Ban prevents HIV positive individuals from entering the country or obtaining legal U.S. citizenship.

Right now a repeal to the ban is in the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) legislation - which, if passed, would abolish the ban and finally put an end to this unjust policy. But just as Congress is preparing to vote on PEPFAR legislation, anti-gay members of Congress are pushing to remove this critical provision so that the inhumane HIV Travel Ban remains a U.S. law.

Congress has a chance this year to finally abolish the travel ban and end this discriminatory policy! Please join me in asking them to stand up to anti-gay Senators who are trying to keep this unjust U.S. policy on the books. Just click below - it only takes a minute.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/hivtravelban?rk=VpdiYRYqOJjOW

ZOOM ZOOMS

...or THE SECRET LIFE OF TUK TUKS

I just can't get enough of these single occupancy buggies.

It started with a chance spotting while waiting at the Austin airport, and now I have to take a photo every time I see them.

There's just something about the scale of mobility and the implied reference: one motor vehicle to one person.

Engaging and disturbing.

QUOTEd BREVITY

"brevity" and "quoted" all in the same post? Hopefully my blog won't implode.



My one sentence response to...

Wall-E

If you over-consume food, you'll be overweight, but if you over-consume Disney musicals, you'll fall in love.

and



RollsRoyceRevenge commenting on Gawker's Wall-E article:

"If anything, the problem with the film was that the human characters were too nice. One little weed in a shoe and they were ready to ditch their luxury mall in the sky and go back to hoeing black-eyed peas? Fuck that--there should have been a cabal fighting for the right to hover in the pretty purple nebula forever. Perhaps they should have named the nebula the Grimace Nebula, you know, in honor of the shakes.

Best thing about this movie was Sigourney Weaver as the ship's computer. Gee, Ellen Ripley, talk about turning into your M.O.T.H.E.R."

Rosie O'Donnell Post for the Summer

yet another new addition to my blog:
stylistic improvisations on the blogging art of Rosie O'Donnell

Can't get enough
of that
rambunctious
youngun

Hamburgers
lattes
or
shakes - overmilked
kisses melting on ice
another day in paradise

this is how internet rumors are started

todd caught me in an "indecent pose" during one of our video skype conversations the other day (if you want to chat with me on skype, my handle is niegelsmith).

believe it or not, we were discussing our grant proposal for Creative Capital.

if you work for Creative Capital... please give us some money. we like to make art stuff, and we're so passionate about it, we take our shirts off.

some images don't need descriptions

p.s. I love when artists appropriate popular iconography and give it an urgent new perspective

impossible is nothing

maybe if we both imagine hugging one another at the same moment... there will be a rip in the fabric of space and time... and we'll actually embrace for an instant.

ok...
let's try....

1, 2, 3...

Feast for the Eyes

confusion break bone

"Sufferhead must go. Jeffahead must come."
- Fela Kuti

In rehearsal, our associate choreographer is most often the spiritual center for the company, and, as associate director, I most often keep a passionate distance - questioning and considering the choices we make.

This afternoon, with the associate choreographer gone, I became acutely aware of how distanced I had become in my relationship to the creative team. I found myself in a unique position to be a generating artist, critical outside eye and engaged nurturing force.

I hope to make room for more of this spiritual vulnerability as rehearsals continue.

life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

The goal is to live in a world where one doesn't have to compromise her spirit.

But, if one never compromises her spirit, is there ever any consideration for others? Is there every any struggle and subsequent reflection?

So, maybe the goal is to live in a world where we are constantly aware that we are pursuing our desires within a community, with an honest and acute respect for other's pursuits.

DONT CALL ME! Text me baby.

The story has finally broken in a major US pub...

I really am surprised that it's taken this long for a major study to find evidence that prolonged exposure of your brain to lithium ion and little polarized chips might mutate your cells.

Anywho, text me baby - I'll keep my device at arms length.

Study: Cell Phones Could Be More Dangerous Than Cigarettes

Monday, March 31, 2008

A study by an award-winning cancer expert shows that cell phone use could kill more people than smoking, it is reported.

According to the U.K.'s Independent newspaper, the study, headed by Dr. Vini Khurana, shows that there is a growing body of evidence that using handsets for 10 years or more can double the risk of brain cancer.

Khurana — one of the world's top neurosurgeons — based his assessment on the fact that three billion people now use the phones worldwide. That is three times higher than people who smoke. Smoking kills some five million globally each year.

He warned that people should avoid using handsets whenever possible and called on the phone industry to make them safer. France and Germany have already warned against the use of mobile phones, especially by children, it is reported.

The study is said to be the most damning indictment of cell phone use. According to the Independent, cancers take at least 10 years to develop, which has influenced earlier cancer studies showing relative safety when using cell phones.

Click here to read the full report in the U.K.'s Independent Newspaper.

WHAT I DID FOR MY WINTER VACATION

todd is my friend.
sometimes we go places, like el tigre,
and we swim there in the fresh water,
and we cover ourselves in mud.

todd introduces me to his friends like Martin Churba.
Martin Churba likes to make pretty clothes for people.
He is a "maestro de textiles." He put me in a fashion show.
i like todd's friends.


sometimes i like to be by myself.
i get to think about things and to observe nature in its natural surroundings,
like when i went for a canoe adventure.

some people might say that todd is a jew.
some people might say that i am a darkie.
i like to think of us as a couple of fruits.


the end.

FLORA

sit proudly on my window sill today

Heart Breaker

The Train

i gave up my seat on the train - to an older woman. she thanked me.

i dismissed her greeting, nonchalant.

i melted - having missed an opportunity to accept and truly receive her thanks.

i noticed my body. my jacket. my shirt. my hair.

The train pulled into the station.

i lost my balance and almost fell.

RETURN of the JEDI

APOLOGIES & EXCUSES

Almost two months have gone by... in a rehearsal room, in tech, in previews for a stunning new show Conversations In Tusculum and in a week-long workshop for the new musical FELA!.

I now return to my regularly scheduled blogging....

Hamlet: What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!

the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—

and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—

nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

Rosencrantz:
My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, 303–312

The photo above is research for a new performance Todd and I have conceived, Weigh In. We plan to transform a defunct reading room in New York’s Humanities and Social Sciences Library into a boxing arena where visitors can join performers in a mixed-media battle between accurate and inaccurate information.

DANCE, DANCE, REVOLUTION

this is a song from Todd Shalom's latest mix, Telenovela. enjoy.

TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF WHEN YOU DANCE - Frank Zappa

i went dancing this morning in therapy.

dropping it like it's hot with the brooklyn girls, hitting arrhythmic markings with the williamsburgers, jitterbugging back in north carolina, ugly-dancing with kim and kaje, booty shaking at the now defunct roxy...

everyone is invited to my party. no more judgments.

BREVITY

Tonight, I'm starting a new addition to my blog: one-sentence responses to film, art, performance, etc. I'm thinking of it as a way to track initial thoughts, interactions or tangential associations. If you want to chime in, leave a one-sentence comment.

ATONEMENT

A compelling melodrama that delves into the passions and fears which manipulate our point-of-view.

JUNO

Missing the mark a few times can often lead to hitting the mark eventually.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

A brilliant indictment of the corporate impulse and manifest destiny, embodied by individual motivation and fulfillment.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS AFTERNOON

                                                                                                            GOLCONDA - Rene Magritte, 1953

• Furniture made from scrap materials.

• My double button collar.

• My tall vanilla latte.

• A downpour, followed by clear skies.
  

• Post-Structuralism: A Very Short Introduction by: Catherine Belsey.

ACTION/REACTION

Notes on a performance.

1. Prepare 415 personal secrets, desires or fears that I have shared with fewer than five people.
   
   
2. Call each of the 415 contacts in my cell phone.
   
   
3. With permission, record the conversation.
   
   
4. Using a statistics randomizer, reveal one of the personal secrets, desires or fears to the person on the other end of "the line." (Even though we aren't connected by telephone lines anymore.)
   
   
5. On my website, post a .pdf document of the 415 secrets, desires and fears, and post audio recordings of the conversations (erasing my voice from each conversation, leaving only the responses from the person called).
   

A GOOD FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND

                                        textiles & todd - 2007

REFLECTION

Self Indulgent Post for the New Year


On 12/31/07 Todd and I performed in Buenos Aires.















We shared with one another names, events and places that filled us with hope and anxiety in the past year and that we hope to carry with us into the new year. We wrote many of these reflections down on sheets of paper and burned them together.















In this action, which I consider to be a public acknowledgment of fear and courage, I felt vulnerable and empowered. Like the reminders of Ash Wednesday and meatless Friday night dinners during Lent, this performance gives me a sense of purpose and clarity that I reflect on every day.